Part-one of my new segment: Pet Peeves.

Making out with your date at the table is gross. Go to the restroom or save it for the car. I am already about to vom from the stench of your colon. I don’t need to see you stick your tongue down your date’s throat. On another note bringing your prom date to a family restaurant… Not classy and probably won’t get you laid. Looks like you’ll be a virgin until college.