Excuse me, I think your child is eating the crayons.

Its date night for you and the ole-ball-in-chain and either at the last minute the babysitter cancels or perhaps you are trying to cut corners and save a few bucks and not hire a sitter at all. I get it, we're in a recession. But the next time you choose to bring your child out to eat with you, please of the love of all things sacred: take care of your child. Crayons and a highchair are not an adequate substitute for a babysitter while you’re enjoying at bottle of overpriced  house wine and a reasonability price seafood dish. So please order your child a meal and if they start to cry get off your ass and bring them outside until they can control themselves.